doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
