I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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