if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
