Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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