dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
