Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
