Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
