Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Randomize
