I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
