Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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