matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
