So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
you inspire me to be a worse person
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
