just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
