i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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