yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
