do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
They took my balls.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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