it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize