Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
