found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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