I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
