I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
