Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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