So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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