wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We talked him into tasing himself.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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