is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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