We won't sleep together?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
did i just pee glitter
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
