Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
