Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
