Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
