i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
