i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
