I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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