Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
