Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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