hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
