Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
