I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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