Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
