I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
