You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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