Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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