The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
