The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
