Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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