Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
