found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
