Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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