New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
