guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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