I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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