Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
