Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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