Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
