Duck Duck Cougar?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
