I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Randomize
