found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
