Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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