I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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