hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
